Sunday, October 16, 2005

Whodunit?

In the past week, unexplained circumstances have raised eyebrows at the manor. It all started about six days ago, on a dark, procrastination-filled night. I was up late (or technically, early) working on homework when I heard a bump at the door. For a moment, my heart stopped. It wasn't the cats- they were inside. "Probably the wind." I thought. Or, it could be a neighbor cat. They are our usual suspects.

But in the morning when James opened the door, he found a Wal-Mart sack full of - Dum dum DUM!!! - half used bottles of various orange-scented cleaners. Orange Power and Lysol and glass cleaner...we were befuddled and a little defensive. Was an anonymous party trying to suggest that our house needed cleaning? And if so, where was this peeper getting his/her information?

Two days later James came to my office after lunchtime. (He goes home, but I work through noon.) Right away, I knew there was trouble. "A half-used carton of kitty litter and a bottle of flea shampoo," he said. "Right where the cleaners were."

Eyebrow activity had escalated beyond simple raising. Eyebrows were scurrying and leaping all over the place.

Then, at least the kitty litter half of the mystery was solved. Whodunit? Was it our neighbors, tired of the cats using every dirt patch like an outhouse? Was it James, trying to get me back for the cicada incident? Was it a clever ploy by the cats themselves to addle our brains and gain control of the manor? Was it Mrs. White with the wrench in the conservatory? No! You're all wrong! It was our friends Jeremy and Clarice Brazas with the illegal cat in the public apartment. They had to take her to the animal shelter and thought that we should benefit from their misfortune.

However, the first half of this mystery remains unsolved. Who is the person responsible for the orange cleaners that went bump in the night? Perhaps the world will never know.

Special Investigators Bocks and Bocks
No job too small
Lots of jobs too big
Call our tipline - be a gumshoe!* 278-9913




* gum to stick on shoe not provided

3 Comments:

Blogger Tracy Batchelder said...

I love a good mystery.

11:17 PM  
Blogger John Batchelder said...

Too bad you can't call CSI Arkansas - (it's the dental records thing)
DJWB

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best post i've read in weeks. I think it was your crazy landlord.

12:32 PM  

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